Adoption is the Best or Not? > 영어토론방

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Who Are You Also Known As?

Like many adopted people I never had a simple answer to the question, “Where did I come from?” For most people raised by their biological parents, this question can be answered by simply gazing at their parent’s face. There in the turn of a nose and the curve of the eye they are reminded of where they came from. bounded by blood, a part of a human continuum passed from mother to daughter, from father to son.

I, on the other hand, seemingly dropped out of the sky on a Boeing 747, walking, talking and potty trained. I was adopted in May 1975 at the age of 3 ½ with just the clothes on my back: a little red pant suit and vest, and white sweater. I have no memories of that day I arrived in America – but I have been told stories so many times that I feel like I remember: running up and down the escalators of John F. Kennedy airport after being cooped up in an airplane for 28 hours; my parents giving me lollipops because I was too big for a pacifier to quiet me on the ride to my new home in the suburbs of New York City; and pushing the Uncle Ben’s white rice on the floor the first morning and eating the coffee cakes instead.

My parents told me that summer of my arrival I would sing and talk in Korean. Of course they never knew what I was saying. They also told me that in those first weeks I would run up to the front door, throw my body up against it and cry and cry and say in Korean, “Jip e ka le!” My sister, born to my parents and age 9 at the time, thought it might be some strange Korean game. So she would run up to the door, throw her body against it and say, “Jip e ka le!” I can imagine my sister doing this over and over – and turning my tears into laughter. Years later my parents learned what my Korean words meant: I want to go home.

This illustrates two things: first, that no matter how old a child is when adopted – whether as an infant, a toddler, or young child – they come with a history, a past that is real. Secondly, it illustrates that when we adopt, there is movement. There is a movement from one place to another, from one culture to another, from one family to another, and in these movements there are both losses and gains. The only way a child gains a family through adoption is by losing another family in some way. This paradoxical nature of adoption raises serious questions that need to be resolved: What are adoption gains and losses? And do the gains outweigh the losses?

Growing up, I was not aware of the losses in adoption, just the gains: parents and siblings and friends who loved me. Like many adopted people who have the fortune of being raised in a supportive home, I did not think much about the fact of my adoption. I thought of my adoption as one thinks about breathing – it was simply part of who I was. I was not necessarily conscious of it as a child growing up unless someone pointed it out to me. And I certainly did not feel like there was anything “wrong” because I was adopted. I grew up knowing very clearly who I was: I was Hollee.

My personal awakening to the losses of adoption began in my late adolescence when I became aware that strangers assumed I was not an American because I did not have blond hair and blue eyes or assumed I spoke Korean (or Chinese or Japanese) or complimented me on my English. I, on the other hand, did not think of myself as Korean – although I felt pride that I was — because I was raised by a non-Korean family. I felt like an imposter because people assumed I knew Korean culture based on my race, but I only knew American culture.

Thus, in my first year of college I sought to fulfill the stereotypes and assumptions people had of me based on my race. I studied Mandarin – because my college did not offer Korean at that time – and took classes in Asian art and history. But it angered me that people would make assumptions about who I was based on things I could not change: my gender, my race, my adoption status – and judge me not for the individual I was. And so in my sophomore year I changed my major to American studies because I wanted to understand how I, as an Asian woman with an Irish last name and blond-haired mother, could be an American too.

Ultimately I realized this conflict about my identity arose because I felt I had only two choices: Korean or American. The reality was that I was both. I felt to identify simply as being Asian would be to deny the love and nurture of my adoptive parents; and to identify solely as American, I would be denying my Korean ancestry and heritage.

(Supporting url: (The NYT' Opinion - Relative Choices) http://relativechoices.blogs.nytimes.com/2007/11/13/who-are-you-also-known-as/)

Reasons Parents Give Their Babies Up for Adoption
By Renee Winship, eHow Contributor

The decision to give a baby up for adoption isn't an easy one. Many different factors can contribute to the decision, including economics, age or having the baby at a difficult time. It is not uncommon for parents in this situation to feel that they don't have any other choice, or that it is in the best interests of the child.

Too Young

Many babies are given up for adoption because the parents are too young to consider raising the child. They might not have their own home or a job, or may need to finish their education before they can manage a family. The parents might have a job, but can't afford to raise a baby, work and pay for the child's daycare. Sometimes they simply feel they aren't old enough or responsible enough to parent a child.

Economics and Fear

If the parents are barely making ends meet or are living on welfare, they might feel the baby is better off with adoptive parents who can readily afford to raise him. If the biological parents already have several other children, they might feel incapable of adding one more child. They might also fear that they aren't up to the responsibility and don't want to fail the child.

Lack of Support

If the mother is a teen who still lives at home, her parents might encourage her to give the baby up. In some situations the mother-to-be is told that she'll have to move out if she decides to keep the baby. If she has nowhere else to go, she might feel adoption is her only choice. A mother without a partner might also decide adoption is the best plan.

Traumatic Event

In some situations the parents might split up before the baby is born and one or the other parent will decide that they can't parent the child alone.
Babies conceived through rape or incest may create a situation the birth mother never anticipated. The emotional trauma from the rape can overwhelm the mother-to-be to the point where she can't imagine raising her child. She might be afraid of her emotions and ability to love and parent the child if he or she resembles the person who caused her such pain.

Unable to Parent

If the parent or parents are physically or mentally challenged to the point they can't take care of themselves, they might not have a choice in whether or not to keep their baby. Parents who are unable to overcome addictions to drugs or alcohol might also make the decision to give their baby for adoption. Birth mothers who are involved in abusive situations might lose the right to parent the baby or decide to put the baby up for adoption on their own or the baby's protection.

(Supporting url: http://www.ehow.com/about_5414661_reasons-give-babies-up-adoption.html)

* continuum: 연속체, coop up: 좁은 공간에 가두다, pacifier: 아기용 고무 젖꼭지

Question
1. What comes to your mind when you hear the word 'adoption'?
2. Have you heard about the story that adopted people come back to Korea
    to find their biological parents and their ancestor's background?
3. What do you think about the adoption?
- Adoption is better than rasing the baby in harsh environment like in.
   Birth parents' choice is the best way to make upgrade baby's life.
- You can see the confusion what adopted children feel from.
   Adoption isn't the worst present that parents can give to their boy/girl?

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