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Confusing love and obsession
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Some say that "Love is a vine that grows into our hearts," yet someone wiser said "Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies" (Aristotle). The word "love" is one of the most recognizable in the world today. Even Forrest Gump said, "I may not be a smart man, but I know what love is."
But love can also turn into an obsession. When we obsess over our emotions, we are, intuitively speaking, expressing ourselves on an extremely selfish level. We aren't "loving" those we have feelings for because we want them to be happy, even if it means they choose to live those lives without us. The kind of "loving" we're focused on expressing is basically designed to make us happy by doing everything we possibly can to get these individuals to share their lives exclusively with us. And we will often go to some extraordinary lengths in order to try to make that happen.
We romantically chase, pursue - at times, even physically stalk - those we profess to "love." When we engage in relationships with new partners, we tend to be so possessive in our manner of "loving" that they inevitably run for the door to escape what they perceive to be an extremely oppressive and, essentially, unloving atmosphere.
When they leave us, we continue to chase them and may even harass them with phone calls and letters. We appear at their doors at all hours of the day and night. We confront their new partners in jealous rages, intent on venting our emotions while making their lives miserable in the process. We may attempt to ruin their careers, their reputations and the families of the objects of our affections. We might go so far as entertaining fantasies of killing the one we profess to love in order to prevent him or her from sharing a life with someone else.
This is not loving. On the intuitive level, this is emotional obsession in its most negative and destructive form, and it is so far removed from genuine love that we might as well call it outright hatred. When we genuinely give love to others, we selflessly put their happiness ahead of our own. We feel their pains, their sorrows - and we respect their right to freedom, if they should choose to exercise that right. We extend ourselves beyond our own wants and needs to encourage our partners to enjoy rich, full lives for themselves - risking the possibility that we won't be active participants in their lives in the future. We want these individuals to be "truly happy" as they live their lives - with or without us - because we are capable of truly loving them just that much.
Loving, on the other hand, is an entirely unselfish act in emotionally extending ourselves beyond our wants and needs. Through loving we recognize that a loved one is a wholly separate person who is traveling his or her own individual path in life without our needing or requiring them to be there for us at any given moment.
When we say, "I can't live without this person in my life," we aren't expressing love but instead, extreme dependency on another individual. We are obsessed and parasitic in the way we feel about that individual. We have focused the essence of our lives on the lives of our partners and are basically feeding off them as they pursue their own happiness in life.
We virtually have no identity for ourselves when we live this way. We are so focused on that partner and what he or she does in an attempt to be happy that we have no idea what it means to make ourselves happy. We are, plainly speaking, living our lives through the lives of others, which is a very unhealthy way to live. Genuine love will never grow from such an unhealthy way of life.
We all think of love as a wonderful part of life, but do we ever consider the behavior that can make it turn sour? Even if love keeps your heart busy, you can start having problems when love becomes busier than your heart. Remember that while pure love illuminates our whole life, obsession destroys love’s light, turning our lives into little pieces of hell.
Question
1. What is 'Love'? How do you think about it? Tell your definition of Love
2. Do you think 'Obsession' is also kind of love? Why do you think like that?
3. Have you ever fallen in situation related to 'Obsession'? If you have, what kind of it?
4. What can we do to avoid obsession and to make good relationship with our partners?
이 글은「대학연합영어토론동아리」www.pioneerclub.com에서 제공하는 영어토론 정보입니다.
But love can also turn into an obsession. When we obsess over our emotions, we are, intuitively speaking, expressing ourselves on an extremely selfish level. We aren't "loving" those we have feelings for because we want them to be happy, even if it means they choose to live those lives without us. The kind of "loving" we're focused on expressing is basically designed to make us happy by doing everything we possibly can to get these individuals to share their lives exclusively with us. And we will often go to some extraordinary lengths in order to try to make that happen.
We romantically chase, pursue - at times, even physically stalk - those we profess to "love." When we engage in relationships with new partners, we tend to be so possessive in our manner of "loving" that they inevitably run for the door to escape what they perceive to be an extremely oppressive and, essentially, unloving atmosphere.
When they leave us, we continue to chase them and may even harass them with phone calls and letters. We appear at their doors at all hours of the day and night. We confront their new partners in jealous rages, intent on venting our emotions while making their lives miserable in the process. We may attempt to ruin their careers, their reputations and the families of the objects of our affections. We might go so far as entertaining fantasies of killing the one we profess to love in order to prevent him or her from sharing a life with someone else.
This is not loving. On the intuitive level, this is emotional obsession in its most negative and destructive form, and it is so far removed from genuine love that we might as well call it outright hatred. When we genuinely give love to others, we selflessly put their happiness ahead of our own. We feel their pains, their sorrows - and we respect their right to freedom, if they should choose to exercise that right. We extend ourselves beyond our own wants and needs to encourage our partners to enjoy rich, full lives for themselves - risking the possibility that we won't be active participants in their lives in the future. We want these individuals to be "truly happy" as they live their lives - with or without us - because we are capable of truly loving them just that much.
Loving, on the other hand, is an entirely unselfish act in emotionally extending ourselves beyond our wants and needs. Through loving we recognize that a loved one is a wholly separate person who is traveling his or her own individual path in life without our needing or requiring them to be there for us at any given moment.
When we say, "I can't live without this person in my life," we aren't expressing love but instead, extreme dependency on another individual. We are obsessed and parasitic in the way we feel about that individual. We have focused the essence of our lives on the lives of our partners and are basically feeding off them as they pursue their own happiness in life.
We virtually have no identity for ourselves when we live this way. We are so focused on that partner and what he or she does in an attempt to be happy that we have no idea what it means to make ourselves happy. We are, plainly speaking, living our lives through the lives of others, which is a very unhealthy way to live. Genuine love will never grow from such an unhealthy way of life.
We all think of love as a wonderful part of life, but do we ever consider the behavior that can make it turn sour? Even if love keeps your heart busy, you can start having problems when love becomes busier than your heart. Remember that while pure love illuminates our whole life, obsession destroys love’s light, turning our lives into little pieces of hell.
Question
1. What is 'Love'? How do you think about it? Tell your definition of Love
2. Do you think 'Obsession' is also kind of love? Why do you think like that?
3. Have you ever fallen in situation related to 'Obsession'? If you have, what kind of it?
4. What can we do to avoid obsession and to make good relationship with our partners?
이 글은「대학연합영어토론동아리」www.pioneerclub.com에서 제공하는 영어토론 정보입니다.
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