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Love and Responsibility
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'Je L'aimais' is a French novel by Anna Gavalda. The story is about a person who has chosen to leave and a person who had chosen to stay.
Chloe and Adrien are husband and wife and they have two young daughters. Chloe and Adrien doesn't have any serious problems between them and they are rather a happy family. Then one day Adrien leaves her and his two children for another woman he loves.
Chloe and her two daughters are left and they stay with Adrien's parents, Susan and Pierre. Pierre is a very quiet and blunt person. Pierre tries to help Chloes and comfort her from her sadness. Then oneday, Pierre talks to Chloe about his love in the past. He once had the same experience as his son, Adrien, a long time ago. He had an affair with another woman he became to love. He was happy with her and he loved her so dearly. His life became lively and bright. He talked a lot when he was with her. He knew she was his destiny, the love of his life. But soon Susan found out he was having an affair, and his secrete lover was getting tired and exhausted of meeting him in the shadows. He had to make a choice, his love or his family. He eventually chose his family.
After he decided to stick to his family and his wife his life became normal as it was and his romance was over forever. He says he doesn't regret about the choice he made because his family is important and it was his responsibility to keep his family. But his life is now dull and quiet. The love and passion, the romance he had once, a very short time, will not return forever.
He tells his story and tells Chloe that the person who 'leaves' suffer as much as the one who is left. The decision they make whether to go or stay is not an easy one and is a very hard and painful experience. He is sad that his son, Adrien, have had that painful moment and hopes that somehow Chloe would understand that just a little bit.
-Love and Responsibility-
The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:
Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.
Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.
Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).
Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.
Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.
Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.
When someone begins on that arrangement called marriage, he is getting into something which is, to say the least, adventurous. When a couple get married, they are doing something they know nothing about. And, from all indications, when they have tried it more than once, they know no more about it the second time than they did the first.
Marriage is the foundation of the family unit. In this society and time, the family is the closest knit, self-perpetuating, self-protecting unit. It is necessary economically and otherwise to the society the way it is set up in present time. A culture will go by the boards if its basic building block, the family, is removed as a valid building block. So one can be fairly sure that he who destroys marriage destroys the civilization.
The marriage relationship, basically, is a postulated relationship. A postulate is a conclusion, decision or resolution about something. When people stop postulating a marriage, it ceases to exist. That is what happens to most marriages. It isn't the other way around. It isn't that all men are evil, so therefore, contracts such as marriage dissolve usually in infidelity and go all to pieces. That is not true. The reverse is true. When you have a purely postulated relationship, you have to continue to create it. And a family which doesn't continue to create itself as a family will cease to exist as a family. That’s about all you need to know about it.
Question
1. Have you read this novel? How do you feel about Adrien and Chloe?
2. What are your conditions of a marriage?
3. If you were in Adrien's shoes, what would you choose? Love or your Family?
4. What choice would the future people make? What effect will it bring, and what do you think is desirable?(do not answer as a personal case)
이 글은「대학연합영어토론동아리」www.pioneerclub.com에서 제공하는 영어토론 정보입니다.
Chloe and Adrien are husband and wife and they have two young daughters. Chloe and Adrien doesn't have any serious problems between them and they are rather a happy family. Then one day Adrien leaves her and his two children for another woman he loves.
Chloe and her two daughters are left and they stay with Adrien's parents, Susan and Pierre. Pierre is a very quiet and blunt person. Pierre tries to help Chloes and comfort her from her sadness. Then oneday, Pierre talks to Chloe about his love in the past. He once had the same experience as his son, Adrien, a long time ago. He had an affair with another woman he became to love. He was happy with her and he loved her so dearly. His life became lively and bright. He talked a lot when he was with her. He knew she was his destiny, the love of his life. But soon Susan found out he was having an affair, and his secrete lover was getting tired and exhausted of meeting him in the shadows. He had to make a choice, his love or his family. He eventually chose his family.
After he decided to stick to his family and his wife his life became normal as it was and his romance was over forever. He says he doesn't regret about the choice he made because his family is important and it was his responsibility to keep his family. But his life is now dull and quiet. The love and passion, the romance he had once, a very short time, will not return forever.
He tells his story and tells Chloe that the person who 'leaves' suffer as much as the one who is left. The decision they make whether to go or stay is not an easy one and is a very hard and painful experience. He is sad that his son, Adrien, have had that painful moment and hopes that somehow Chloe would understand that just a little bit.
-Love and Responsibility-
The three components of the Triangular Theory of Love are:
Passion, the feeling physically aroused and attracted to someone.
Passion is what makes you feel "in love" and is the feeling most associated with love. It also rises quickly and strongly influences and biases your judgment.
Intimacy, the feeling close and connected to someone (developed through sharing and very good communications over time).
Intimacy is what makes you want to share and offer emotional and material support to each other.
Commitment, pledging to your self and each other to strengthen the feelings of love and to actively maintain the relationship.
Commitment is what makes you want to be serious, have a serious relationship and promise to be there for the other person if things get tough.
When someone begins on that arrangement called marriage, he is getting into something which is, to say the least, adventurous. When a couple get married, they are doing something they know nothing about. And, from all indications, when they have tried it more than once, they know no more about it the second time than they did the first.
Marriage is the foundation of the family unit. In this society and time, the family is the closest knit, self-perpetuating, self-protecting unit. It is necessary economically and otherwise to the society the way it is set up in present time. A culture will go by the boards if its basic building block, the family, is removed as a valid building block. So one can be fairly sure that he who destroys marriage destroys the civilization.
The marriage relationship, basically, is a postulated relationship. A postulate is a conclusion, decision or resolution about something. When people stop postulating a marriage, it ceases to exist. That is what happens to most marriages. It isn't the other way around. It isn't that all men are evil, so therefore, contracts such as marriage dissolve usually in infidelity and go all to pieces. That is not true. The reverse is true. When you have a purely postulated relationship, you have to continue to create it. And a family which doesn't continue to create itself as a family will cease to exist as a family. That’s about all you need to know about it.
Question
1. Have you read this novel? How do you feel about Adrien and Chloe?
2. What are your conditions of a marriage?
3. If you were in Adrien's shoes, what would you choose? Love or your Family?
4. What choice would the future people make? What effect will it bring, and what do you think is desirable?(do not answer as a personal case)
이 글은「대학연합영어토론동아리」www.pioneerclub.com에서 제공하는 영어토론 정보입니다.
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